You Can't Be What You Can't See

Breaking barriers and redefining what's possible

Mar 03, 2025

"You can't be what you can't see."

This phrase typically comes up when we talk about young kids and the role models they see – or don't see.

Women in leadership positions, working moms, stay-at-home dads, and so on. And yes, I'll get to this important point.

A man is holding a child on his shoulders

But it can also be much more practical and immediate, as I experienced this week in a way that left me truly speechless.

Someone printed my newsletters.

All of them.

In 2 books, with a table of contents, including page numbers, a disclaimer and everything.

All.

Of.

Them.

Imagine having your thoughts, your journey, your ideas compiled into something tangible you can hold in your hands. (It has been lying next to me literally the whole day. ;))

This someone is a woman I just met last year.

An Arab woman, shaping kids in the Middle East through her work in education. And with that, having an impressive influence on not only, but especially, many women in the Middle East.

When I sit down with her for coffee, it's just amazing – the women she knows, the women who are shaping this region.

Business leaders, educators, policymakers, artists – all creating paths where sometimes there were none before.

And this while it feels that people in Europe still have no idea about the impressive women of this region, often holding outdated stereotypes instead of seeing the dynamic reality.

So here I was, sitting with my printed books.

"Feeling" what I could be.

A published author. (Long shot, but I mean it was printed right there in my hands).

And at the same time discussing all the amazing careers of some Arab women and seeing what women could or can be.

Or even all the things I could still think about – possibilities I hadn't considered for myself until they were right in front of me.

What Are We Missing?

And mostly wondering, what Europe is missing to get these results.

To have more women (not saying there are none) living their full potential, exploring the world, their strengths, and pushing limits – all while inspiring others (especially women, maybe younger) to do the same.

And to give their kids the permission to be what they can see.

And who they want to be.

This morning left me speechless.

Speechless seeing all these amazing women and the things they are building.

And also speechless from the incredible kindness of one woman, giving me such a precious gift.

Two "books" as well the time and inspiration.

A woman showing me I can be what I can now see.

Building Strong US: Creating What We Need to See

This experience got me thinking about the "Strong US" part of my New Work framework.

Because "you can't be what you can't see" isn't just a catchy phrase – it's a profound truth about how we shape society and the next generation.

Think about it:

How many kids have limited their dreams because they've never seen someone who looks like them in certain roles?
How many of us adults still do the same?

We self-limit based on what we believe is possible, and those beliefs are shaped by the examples around us.

We need systemic change that goes beyond individual success stories. We need to build environments where:

A dad can take paternity leave without career penalties
A mom can have an impactful career while still being present for key moments
Success looks like meaningful contribution, not just a corner office
Work and life aren't opposing forces, but complementary parts of a whole

Living Examples Matter Most

This isn't just about representation in media or leadership positions (though that absolutely matters).

It's about creating living, breathing examples of different ways to exist in the world.

When a child sees their father taking equal part in caregiving, they internalize that parenthood isn't gendered.
When they see their mother passionate about her work and setting healthy boundaries, they learn that passion and presence can coexist.
When they see adults making unconventional choices and thriving, they understand that preset paths are merely suggestions, not requirements.

The change we need isn't just about policies – though those matter enormously.

It's about living examples that show what's possible. It is about creating systems and cultures that enable everyone to contribute in meaningful ways.

a brick wall with a neon sign that says same same but different

So, based on my inspirational start of the week:

What are you making visible through your choices?
What permission are you giving others by the way you live?

Because creating purpose-driven impact isn't just about what we achieve – it's about what we demonstrate is possible through our everyday actions and decisions.

Becoming What Others Can See

I started this newsletter reflecting on holding my words in book form – seeing a version of myself I hadn't fully imagined before.

That gift wasn't just paper and ink; it was permission to see myself as an author, a thought leader whose ideas deserve to be bound and preserved.

Wow, writing this down feel like quite something.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is help others see themselves in new ways – whether through a kind gesture, mentorship, or simply living our lives authentically in full view.

What have you seen that changed what you thought was possible for yourself? And how are you becoming that for someone else?

Because when you live outside the box, you don't just change your own life – you expand what's possible for everyone watching.

Let's think Out of the Box together,

Constanze