Trust the Process: Finding Strength in Uncertainty
How life's ups and downs remind us that some things are worth the wait
Last Monday was one of those days.
It was that "7 days before my period" day, which either way always gets me in a bad mood.
My amazing nanny gave notice (or rather, we realised she will leave us).
I took a wrong turn in Dubai (for those who don't live here, this easily costs you 20 minutes).
Got parked in at the paediatrician.
And there was more.
And then this Monday comes: quite some good news. (Still no new nanny, but ok, step by step).
And then I got this message from a fellow Crunchmom, who apparently has been reading my newsletter. Means the world.
"Hey Constanze! How are you? Hope all is well with the family. Just wanted to drop you a message to say how much I enjoy your email newsletters. I'm 3 months postpartum and they've made me feel so much better about where my head is at with work/business/life - and much less alone. So thank you! It's really, really impactful."
So now I sit here, Tuesday morning, finally back in one of my favorite cafes with this special time, a coffee and me and my newsletter.
And no idea what to write about.
And I'm thinking about our INSEAD call yesterday. We talked about negative capability and emergence. Letting things emerge naturally rather than forcing them. Staying with uncertainty instead of rushing to conclusions.
It reminded me of something I've heard so many times: "Trust the process."
So I opened my laptop and started writing anything. Just trusting the process.
What "Trust the Process" Really Means
I'm currently reading Elizabeth Gilbert's "Big Magic," a book on creativity.
She says, if you really want to do something, you will. She compares it to an affair. I mean, you'll always find time for that person if you really want it.
How does this link to creativity and trusting the process?
You need to put in the work and actually sit down. Find the time. Like me and my newsletter today. I had no idea what to write about when I sat down. But I showed up. I got my coffee. I opened my laptop. And I trusted the process.
Sometimes the ideas don't come until you're already at the keyboard. The process can't work if you don't show up for it.
What does your "sitting at the keyboard" look like today?
But trusting the process goes beyond just showing up. It's about active preparation combined with genuine acceptance:
I can't change that my nanny is leaving. But I can make sure we interview as many people as possible to find the best replacement. And in trusting this process we will find someone.
Due to reasons out of our hands, we won't have a house as of February. I can't change that. But we can trust that we'll find something.
Same on the job front. Trusting in my capabilities that it will all turn out the way it should.
It's not passive waiting - it's the delicate balance between doing everything within your control while accepting what isn't controllable.
Think about it - when have the best things in your life come exactly as you planned them? Usually, they arrive in unexpected packages at unexpected times.
When I Didn't Trust (And When I Did)
I have been working by myself since January 2024. The plan was different. I wanted to create a business, my own.
In the end I freelanced. Was it perfect? No.
Was it what I planned for? No.
But it gave me the opportunity to still earn some money and to learn a lot. And who knows what is coming next.
The same with this newsletter. I don't have the growth other people might have. But receiving that note yesterday made it all worth it.
Maybe trusting the process is simply acknowledging this truth - that no matter how much we plan, life has its own rhythm and timeline.
And sometimes what looks like a detour ends up being the actual path. What seems like a delay becomes perfect timing.
I look at my own journey - from corporate leader to freelancer to whatever comes next - and I see how each step, even the unexpected ones, built on each other.
None of it was wasted.
But there was work going into it. I mean, even a baby doesn’t join your family because you trusted the process, right? There was a bit of “work” behind it. Noone ever said the “work” can’t be fun. ;)
The "Hold" Moment: Where Trust Meets Uncertainty
Yesterday in an INSEAD call, someone brought up this powerful image: two kings on opposite mountains with their armies, saying "hold" until one made the first move.
That "hold" moment perfectly captures what trusting the process feels like.
You don't know what others will do and you can't influence it. But you can decide to "hold" - to wait with purpose and awareness.
This connects directly to what I shared about negative capability in a newsletter last year - that ability to remain in uncertainty and doubt without reaching desperately for immediate answers.
The poet John Keats described it as "when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason."
How often do we irritably reach for answers before they're ready to come?
How much anxiety could we save ourselves by developing this negative capability - this ability to hold? (Still trying by the way)
My Pattern With Uncertainty: it’s messy
In those first moments, hours, maybe even days, I'm a bit lost. I might cry, I get emotional, I call friends, I get stuck. I don't trust the process.
I need a good night's sleep to see things differently. Need space to consider different solutions. Need to talk through ideas with people I trust.
And through it all, my mom's voice: "It will all be ok. Trust the process.”
In order to be able to "hold" you need to be quite aware of yourself.
Last week Monday, with all the hormones and everything, I couldn't hold space for myself - I needed others to hold it for me.
When I'm in a better place, I hope I can hold that space myself. And say "hold" in a way that feels empowering rather than uncomfortable.
I'm still learning. I still make decisions too fast, saying yes or no to things in the moment when actually I need more time to think.
Just like I sat down today not knowing what I'd write about, but trusting that showing up was enough to start the process.
We're all works in progress, learning to trust the unfolding of our lives rather than forcing immediate answers.
The Difference Between "Trust" and "Patience"
I personally think there's an important distinction here.
Having patience is more passive, waiting for something.
Trusting the process is more active. You have done what you could and now you need to trust the process that it will work out.
It's like the difference between waiting for a bus (patience) versus planting a garden (trust).
With the bus, you're just waiting. With the garden, you've prepared the soil, planted the seeds, watered them - and now you trust the natural process of growth.
Similarly, you can wait patiently for a job interview response - or you can trust the process by continuing to network, improve your skills, and explore other opportunities while that particular door opens or closes.
This distinction matters because trusting the process empowers us.
It's not about resignation - it's about preparation meeting opportunity, with the wisdom to know what's in our control and what isn't.
How The New Work Framework Supports "Trusting the Process"
Strong ME: The better you know yourself, the easier it is to trust. To hold that uncertainty. To identify when you're rushing versus when you're holding.
During my pregnancy and COVID, I meditated 5 days a week or so. And I felt so grounded. Since having a child, I haven't seemed to have the time, but I feel I miss it. It really helped keep me centered when uncertainty hit.
Knowing your values also helps immensely. When you're clear on what matters most to you, decisions in uncertainty become easier. You have a compass when the map is missing.
Strong WE: When you trust yourself, others trust you. You're confident. And so the team can also have the psychological safety to trust the process.
Sometimes we need others to hold space for us when we can't. Last Monday, I needed my friends to remind me it would be ok.
Creating teams where we can be vulnerable about uncertainty - where "I don't know yet" is an acceptable answer - builds the collective capacity to trust processes together.
Strong US: Maybe we're sometimes too much in the "trust the process" and need to get more into action mode. Change something. Make something happen.
But actions taken from a place of trust rather than panic tend to create better results for everyone.
Our systems and structures should support both action and patience - creating space for processes to unfold while maintaining momentum toward meaningful goals.
A Note to Working Parents
Trusting the process is perhaps hardest as a parent. We feel responsible for everything.
But what if showing our children how to navigate uncertainty with grace is one of the most valuable lessons we can offer?
See the little bird in my garage today. First day out of the nest. The parents supported it, but it needed to start flying alone. (My mother heard is still waiting for this to happen sooner rather than later…)
When they see us doing what we can while accepting what we can't control, they learn resilience in action.
I think about the contrasting lesson we teach when we rush around frantically trying to control everything versus when we model thoughtful action combined with acceptance.
Our children are watching us. They're learning how to handle life's uncertainties from our example. Not from what we say, but from what we do.
Do we want them to believe they must control everything? Or do we want them to develop the strength to act where they can while trusting processes beyond their control?
I know which lesson I'd rather teach my son. Even if I'm still learning it myself.
The Trust Ecosystem
Trust doesn't exist in isolation. It's part of an ecosystem that includes:
Self-trust (believing in your own capacity to handle what comes)
Trust in others (believing in the support system around you)
Trust in timing (believing that things unfold as they should)
Trust in process (believing in the journey, not just the destination)
When one element weakens, the others can compensate. If you're struggling to trust the process, lean on your trust in others. If you're unsure about others, strengthen your self-trust.
This ecosystem approach helps us maintain equilibrium even when individual elements are tested.
Looking Forward: May's Theme
As we move into May, I'll be exploring "Navigating Uncertainty" as our monthly theme.
We'll dig deeper into how uncertainty affects us as individuals, teams, organizations, and society - and how we can develop the muscles to not just survive it, but potentially thrive in it.
From personal uncertainty to leading teams through ambiguity to creating systems that embrace the unknown - there's so much to unpack together.
And let’s see what else I come up with.
I'd love to hear from you:
Where are you struggling to trust the process right now?
What helps you stay in that "hold" moment when everything in you wants to rush?
Have you experienced unexpected gifts from processes you couldn't control?
Let's think Out of the Box together,
Constanze
P.S. This Saturday, I'll share "The Trust Process Toolkit" - practical exercises to strengthen your capacity to hold space for uncertainty and trust the process when everything feels up in the air. It includes journaling prompts, visualization techniques, and decision frameworks to help you navigate uncertain times with more grace. Don't miss it!