Real Talk Series #10: Chef, Chaos Coordinator & the Art of Baby Steps with Muskan
Current reality: Mother of One, Chef, Successful Business Owner
"My work and life are like spaghetti — completely tangled."
Sometimes the most honest thing you can say about work-life balance is that it's not a thing. At least the way we're supposed to have it all figured out.
I want you to meet Muskan Ohri — a chef and entrepreneur who feeds film sets and corporate galas while raising a nine-year-old daughter.
I've sat in her garden twice now, watching her serve food that's so extraordinary it makes you understand why major productions hunt her down, all while she's juggling motherhood and managing three different events in the background.
Her story isn't about having some magical system that keeps everything perfectly separated. It's about embracing what she calls "sweet chaos" and occasionally hiding in the pantry when she needs thirty seconds to breathe.
This is our Real Talk Series — where we share the actual truth about what it's like to build something meaningful while raising humans, mess and all.
Meet Muskan 👋
About: Chef, Chaos Coordinator & Founder of Simmer Catering — designing five-course menus in her sleep while juggling film sets, launches, and family life
Current reality: Running a successful catering business that feeds everything from intimate soirées to corporate galas, all while watching her nine-year-old navigate life and wondering what she ate last night
Superpower: Can remember exactly how her daughter likes her pasta but may not recall her own dinner — the universal working mom superpower of knowing everyone else's needs while our own sometimes blur
The Three-Brain Tug-of-War
Muskan gets right to the heart of what so many of us feel but struggle to articulate:
"My biggest tension is the constant tug-of-war between my work brain, my mum brain, and my 'I should probably take care of myself' brain."
Sounds familiar? That constant internal negotiation between what our professional self needs, what our children need, and what we need — often with our own needs coming in a distant third.
Her navigation strategy is refreshingly honest:
"I navigate it by accepting I can't be in three places at once, laughing or crying when things go sideways, and occasionally hiding in the pantry at work or in the shower at home for a moment of silence."
The pantry hiding? The shower as a quiet place? This is the real talk we need more of. Sometimes self-care isn't yoga and green smoothies — sometimes it's stealing thirty seconds of silence wherever you can find it.
I personally gave up on the shower, having a toddler and all. But there are the little pockets here and there.
Redefining Success: The Everything Trap
Muskan's definition of success reveals the impossible standard so many of us hold ourselves to:
"Success, for me, is being great at my work, a loving mother, a dependable friend, a caring sister, and an even better daughter — all while secretly wondering if I'm failing because I'm so busy being everything to everyone else that I barely show up for myself."
The "everything to everyone" trap is real, and Muskan's honesty about questioning herself even while excelling everywhere else is so relatable. But here's what I love about her evolving perspective:
"I'm learning that success also has to include me being okay… and maybe success could mean toning down my ambition so that I can enjoy the sweeter, slower everyday things that life has to offer."
This shift from "doing it all" to "being okay too" isn't giving up on ambition — it's expanding our definition of what ambition can look like.
What if success included our own wellbeing? What if it included enjoying those everyday moments instead of rushing through them to get to the next goal?
Creative Boundaries (AKA The Spaghetti Method)
When asked about boundaries, Muskan's response made me laugh out loud:
"Boundaries? Let's just say mine are… 'creative.' My work and life are like spaghetti — completely tangled."
Love this honesty! No pretending she's mastered the art of work-life separation here.
"My phone is on almost all the time, I say 'yes' far too often, and I'm edging toward burnout more than I'd like to admit. I'm working on it — which right now means sometimes turning my phone face down during dinner and not apologising for it. Baby steps."
Can we talk about that last part? "Not apologising for it."
How many of us apologize for taking basic care of ourselves? For putting the phone down during dinner with our families? Muskan's baby step is actually revolutionary — claiming space for presence without guilt.
This connects to what we learned from Stasia's story about boundaries being medicine. Sometimes the medicine starts as small as phone-face-down and no apologies.
The Exceptional Village
One of the most beautiful parts of Muskan's story is how she talks about her support system:
"It truly takes a village — and mine is exceptional. My friends, my parents and my daughters other amazing grandparent's, my sister, my cousins, my aunt and uncle, Hemang, the best father, and, most of all, Suku and Sushma — two extraordinary women who have left behind their own homes and children in Nepal and India to come look after mine, filling our lives with warmth, stability, and love."
The recognition here, the gratitude, the acknowledgment of what it actually takes — this is what village-building looks like in practice. And then this line:
"Without them, none of what I do would be possible. They are the quiet magic that keeps my world running."
"Quiet magic." What a beautiful way to honor the people who make our ambitions possible.
It's a reminder that behind every successful working mother is usually a network of people we can't thank enough.
The Counter-Productive Guilt
"Stop trying to 'do it all' every day. Some days you'll nail the work stuff, some days you'll nail the parenting, and some days the victory is being able to read a book in peace. Also, always remember that guilt isn't a productivity tool, in fact it's counter-productive!"
Can we print this on business cards and hand them out to every mother with ambition?
The idea that some days the win is different, and that guilt actually makes us less effective — not more motivated — is revolutionary for those of us raised to believe guilt equals caring.
Lightning Round
Morning person or night owl? "Both! Though chefs operate in a parallel universe where mornings are just a rumour I also have a daughter I like to wake up for and a life to live that doesn't exist at night."
One app/tool you couldn't live without: "WhatsApp — my lifeline for business, family, friends but mostly because it is my memory bank."
The working mother "myth" you'd most like to dispel: "That 'balance' is real. It's not. It's more like juggling flaming torches while making canapés, hoping I haven't disappointed my family or friends due to my inability to always be present and just trying to live, like really live— I just hope nothing (and no one) catches fire."
Can we talk about this myth-busting moment?
The image of juggling flaming torches while making canapés perfectly captures what so many of us feel but rarely articulate.
The hope that "nothing and no one catches fire" — that's the real daily goal, isn't it?
What I Took Out Of Muskan's Story
1. Tangled Doesn't Mean Broken Muskan's "spaghetti" boundaries might not be Pinterest-perfect, but they're real and they're working for her current season. Sometimes integration beats separation.
2. Baby Steps Beat Big Gestures Phone face-down at dinner without apologies. That's it. That's the boundary. Small actions can create meaningful change without overwhelming an already full life.
3. Village Recognition Is Essential Muskan doesn't just have a support system — she sees it, names it, and honors it. Recognizing our "quiet magic" people strengthens those relationships.
4. Success Can Include Slower The thought that ambition might need to include enjoying everyday moments challenges our always-more culture. What if success included satisfaction?
Your Turn
Reading Muskan's story, I'm curious:
What does your "spaghetti" look like? Where are your work and life most beautifully tangled?
What's your equivalent of hiding in the pantry? Where do you steal those moments of silence?
Who is the "quiet magic" in your life? Have you told them lately?
What would "toning down ambition to enjoy sweeter things" look like for you?
Share your stories and let me know — these conversations often become the seeds for future stories in this series.
And if Muskan's story resonates with you, forward this to another mother with ambition who needs to hear that tangled boundaries and pantry hiding are perfectly valid strategies.
Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is help each other feel less alone in the beautiful mess.
What's Next
Our Real Talk Series continues to grow, and I'm constantly amazed by the wisdom that emerges when we share our real experiences instead of our highlight reels.
If you know a mother with ambition whose story would add value to this series — someone navigating their own version of the beautiful chaos — send them this newsletter and have them reach out. Every story shared makes the path a little clearer for the mothers coming behind us.
Lift Her Up: Taste Muskan's Magic 🍽️
Muskan creates extraordinary culinary experiences from intimate dinners to feeding entire Hollywood film crews. There's a reason major productions choose her — when your food needs to fuel creativity for 12-hour shooting days, you call someone whose passion translates into every single bite.
Why You Should Connect:
She Gets the Big Picture: Food is about more than eating — it's about nourishing people and creating experiences
Genuine Kindness: In a high-stress industry, Muskan brings warmth and care to every interaction
Proven Hollywood Standard: When film productions trust you to keep their crews happy, you know you're working with someone exceptional
How to Support Muskan:
🍽️ Book Simmer Catering — Experience the magic that keeps productions coming back at simmer.ae
📧 Spread the Word — Connect anyone planning something special with Muskan and Simmer
📱 Follow Her Journey — See the behind-the-scenes magic of feeding film sets
Make it Both And,
Constanze
P.S. Muskan's lightning round reveal that she's "both" a morning person AND a night owl perfectly captures the chef life — and honestly, the mother with ambition life. We exist in parallel universes where normal rules don't apply!
P.P.S. WhatsApp as a memory bank? If you know, you know. Sometimes our phones hold our entire lives together.
Love when people are transparent that they're in the "messy middle" of something - whether it's self-care, attempting "balance," or phone boundaries. So many of us feel like others have it all figured out, when it reality, we're all working on at least something!