OUT OF THE BOX TOOL: The Trust Process Toolkit
3 Quick Exercises to Navigate Uncertainty
In this week's newsletter, I shared my messy journey with uncertainty — including my tendency to cry first and hide second when faced with the unknown.
Today, I'm sharing three practical tools that I have been using or am trying out to approach this a bit differently.
Because I kind of feel that trusting the process isn't passive waiting — it's also about putting in the work. And an extra portion of coolness.
So here we go. See what you like.
1. THE CONTROL SORTING EXERCISE (5 min)
When something happens that creates uncertainty in my life, I think my Amygdala gets highjacked and there is not a lot of coolness left . Anyone else?
So I thought that sitting down, looking at it rationally might help.
What you'll need: Paper and pen (or just do it mentally in 30 seconds, like I often do while waiting for coffee)
The exercise:
Create two columns: "Within My Control" and "Outside My Control"
Sort all aspects of your current situation
For "Within My Control" items → Note one specific action (or more if you think you can do it short term)
For "Outside My Control" items → Write "trust the process"
From my life: When my nanny resigned unexpectedly:
Within My Control:
Texting 5 mom friends about childcare leads
Creating a clear job description
Asking the new school about extended hours
Outside My Control:
How quickly we'll find someone → I trust my efforts
Initial disruption to my son's routine → I trust the process
This exercise doesn't magically eliminate uncertainty (I wish!), but it redirects my energy toward actions that actually matter instead of spinning in worry circles.
2. THE NEGATIVE CAPABILITY JOURNAL (5 min)
This exercise builds on that concept of negative capability I mentioned before — poet John Keats's fancy way of saying "get comfortable with not knowing."
Learned this concept at INSEAD and LOVE it. And also: I still don’t master it at all. :)
What you'll need: Journal, notes app, or even just the notes on your phone
The exercise: Take 5 minutes to answer these three questions:
What's making me uncomfortable right now?
What am I tempted to do immediately to fix this feeling?
What might I notice if I sit with this discomfort for just a little while?
That's it! No complex philosophy needed (though it does make you sound smart at dinner parties).
I use this quick journaling practice when I feel that urgent need to "do something" about a situation I can't control. Like when a nanny has not responded to our offer, or when I'm waiting to hear back about an opportunity.
I realize, when I pause before reacting, I often see options I completely missed in my rush to act. My emotions actually settle down without me doing anything. Magic!
3. CALL YOUR JOKER (10 min)
As an extrovert, all that introspection is nice, but sometimes I just NEED to talk it out. I process uncertainty through my mouth, not my pen!
What you'll need: Phone and 2-3 trusted "jokers" who can listen without fixing (harder to find than you might think!)
The exercise:
When uncertainty hits hard, call your joker
Say upfront: "I need to process, not solutions"
Share your fears and feelings
Ask them to reflect what they hear, not fix it
From my life: When my nanny left, my first instinct was to 1) cry and 2) hide like an ostrich.
Instead, I called my mom (my ultimate joker) and talked through my fears. She didn't try to solve anything, just listened and occasionally said, "This is hard, but you'll figure it out. Trust the process."
By the end of the call, my anxiety had settled enough to make a clear plan instead of panicking. Sometimes all we need is someone to hold space while our own wisdom emerges.
Find What Works For YOU
These tools help in different ways:
Control Sorting → Focuses energy on what you can influence
Negative Capability Journal → Creates space between your feelings and reactions
Calling Your Joker → Uses conversation when you need to process externally
Some days I need the structure of sorting what I can control. Other days, I need my mom to listen. There's no "right way" to navigate uncertainty — just your way.
The goal isn't to eliminate the discomfort of uncertainty (if you figure that out, please tell me your secret!). It's to build your capacity to move through it with more grace and wisdom.
Start with just one tool this week. Or maybe you even have other ones to share. Let me know what helps you!
I'd love to hear from you:
Which tool resonates most with your style?
What's your biggest challenge when trusting the process?
Reply to this email and let me know. I genuinely read every response!
Let's think Out of the Box together,
Constanze
P.S. If you found this helpful, please forward it to a friend navigating their own uncertainty. We're all figuring this out together!
Loved this!